Trouble Shoot Your Texts to Girls

Here are some text message flirting problems you might run into, and some possible ways to handle them:

• If she’s being testy or defiant, do NOT try to put her in her place over text. In fact, stay completely non-reactive. The best thing you can do is to simply ignore the text altogether, and resume communication a day or two later with something completely non-sequitur, by starting a completely new conversation thread. Path of least resistance, as you recall - and the easiest path of dealing with someone texting her that she needs to straighten out is she simply doesn’t text back.

• If you ARE going to respond to texts that don’t serve you, be playful about it. Exaggerate whatever point she’s making to where it will be absurd and funny. Don’t let your pride get involved – you don’t need to debate her on anything, especially not over text where you don’t have your voice tone to calibrate the impact your words will have.
  
  That means, if you ask her when she’s free and she says she doesn’t know, she’s just SO busy... if you reply with something like “Come on, you can’t be THAT busy,” it looks weak; but if you text her something like “I know... you’ve got SO MUCH hair to wash, right?” it’ll get her to laugh at herself (and perhaps suddenly remember when her schedule is open).

• If you get the vibe that she will probably flake on you, one thing you can do is to beat her to the punch. Suggest a time and date to meet up, but don’t make a firm commitment. Instead, say “I’ll call you then”… and then never actually call her. Girls flake on guys ALL THE TIME… but if she’s on the receiving end, it will at least get her attention. You can then apologize later and reschedule. Again, it’s usually better to focus on the 20%, but if she IS a girl you really want to pursue, this little technique will up the odds.
  
• Don’t be afraid to break contact with her for a while. If you ask her out twice and she’s busy both times, STOP talking to her for a month or maybe even three. If she was really interested but legitimately busy, she will reinitiate. If she doesn’t, chances are she just can’t go out on a date with you right now because she has something else going on in her life… that might change if you call here again 6-8 weeks later.
  

Don’t text girls to try to schedule dates a week before they will happen… unless she’s either Japanese or a workaholic professional with a very busy schedule, it’s better to be more spontaneous. Putting “fun” into the calendar days in advance also communicates that you’re the provider, and not the lover - see “What Women Want” for more on that one.
If you use these advanced tips to text girls with, you’ll be able to up your odds - even in those situations where they aren’t the greatest.
And tomorrow, in Part II of my Phone Secrets series, I’ll let you in on my techniques like this for when you make that first phone call - and beyond.